I Sat with a Baby Today.

Sophia Rose Goss' momma, Xio (pronounced See-Oh), went back to work for the first time today since having Sophia on April 29th.  She's working part time and the new nanny is coming in a couple weeks and all will be well.  But STILL, it's no fun leaving your baby with someone else and knowing it's an ongoing thing.  

I was trying to think of something nice I could do (aside from, you know, keeping her daughter alive)... and I thought... what she really WANTS is to be home.  So I will just tell her everything that goes on when she's NOT home.  And I did it like this:

SRG’s First Day at Home

(while Momma was working hard for me!)


I’m here with Aunt Liz (aka Baby Whisperer) [blog note: Xio calls me this because every time I'm around, Sophia just falls into a coma-like sleep].  In this account, I will call her AL or BW just depending on how “good” she was at her job in that moment.  And at this moment, she’s probably AL because she is NOT holding me while she’s transcribing this for me.

Momma just left a few minutes ago (I miss you, Momma!) and AL and I took a minute looking at ourselves in the soothing silver mirror.  Dang, we are cute.  Now, I am squirming like a worm on a hot rock playing with my awesome toys and listening to Mozart on this brightly colored, zoo-like play thingy.  AL feels a LITTLE weird with a baby and a dog staring at her constantly… but, secretly, I think it makes her feel cool. 

Now about this play thingy… I like pulling on the legs of this monkey and squeezing the parrot and the elephant with my feet.  AL things I am super flexible (I’m going to RULE at Yoga) and that I have strong legs (maybe soccer is in my future, too).  Plus… if drooling could make me millions, you would never have to work again, Momma.  And neither would Dad.

I am hungry, but the milk is getting to room temp… we put the bottle in the bowl after the bowl got out of the microwave, so don’t worry.  Right now, we are listening to Let It Be from Across the Universe… Dad would be so proud at AL bringing out the rock star in me.  I tried to roll over twice, but couldn’t QUITE get there.  AL is taking some pics of me on your camera, Momma.  No need to waste all this cuteness on AL!  Actually, this Let It Be thing, might be taking AL into the BW category.  I’m loving this song.

AL is definitely NOT the BW.  It’s been 45 minutes of hollering and wandering the house and AL can tell that I must be hungry, but she can’t get me to take a bottle (either kind) to save her life.  I actually think she sucks at this job.  She even changed my diaper in case that was the problem.  HELLO, AL… Momma just changed my diaper an hour ago!  However, after 5 attempts to feed me and some stand-rocking with piano hymns in the background, I totally passed out slumped over AL’s arm.  So maybe I’m also exhausted?   Right now, BW (she DID get me to fall asleep again) thinks I’m asleep… Zzzzzz.

Annnnnnd I’m up!  I just ate almost my whole bottle (your milk momma… thanks for doing the ol’ pump and dump for me!)  Then, I pooped it ALL out.  SO much that BW (yeah, she fed me my whole bottle… the B-Dub is back) had to change my clothes, throw away the changing pad AND is gonna have to wash her shirt when she gets home.  Needless to say, it was a doozie and I bet you and Dad are jealous.  I know BW was.

Now, I’m wearing my Tory Burch onesie and I am freaking adorable sitting here in my Bumbo, playing with my toys (BW remembered that you said I could mostly see black and white and some bright colors… so she gave me toys with B&W… B&W, BW… see the correlation!?)  I’m doing a pretty good job with this mini barbell thing with the black and white polka dots.  I can push it with my fist… and when it rolls back down to me, I push it again.  I even got one of the rings hooked in my pinkie (accidentally, obviously) and picked it up a couple times.  GO ME.  This is fun!

BW read me the “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Panda” book because it was also B&W and obviously had whole hand full of finger puppets included.  However, after making all the noises she could think of (what noises do a panda and a zebra make??  Who the heck knows?), she decided it was creepy and uncomfortable.  So we were dundies with that.

Momma.  I must be totally advanced because BW put me in that bouncy, over-stimulating chair thing that’s for much older kids and I LOVED it.  She tried to put me in my swing and I was all strapped in when the whole right side of the seat collapsed when she was standing there. BW did NOT like that!  She wasn’t happy with that chair AT ALL.  But at least she had already strapped me in.  I didn’t even think anything of it.  Anyways, back to this older kid bouncy thing… I started pushing on the buttons and they made noise!  And when I pushed on them multiple times, they told me what the animals were in English and Spanish and then played a song!  It only would have been cool if it had said “Cat”, “Gato” and then the song busted out with “domo arigato, mr. roboto” instead of “old macdonald.”  Oh well… I guess this toy can’t have EVERYTHING.  And I was swinging my legs around the whole time and touching my teeny toes on the bottom.  This thing rocks.  Wait… I’m SO over this thing.  Gotta go….

  Ok… since last we talked, I ate the second whole bottle you made me (thanks again… yummy goodness) PLUS another ounce of formula.  AL and I hung out, took more pics.  She tried to do some Tummy Time with me but I HATED it.  HATED in all caps… Billy Mays style.  Also, I refuse to nap.  I’m so over that.  There are lots of other things to do.  Currently, I’m playing on my zoo play thingy but I’m over this too.  AL is no longer the BW.

Gladys (sp?) [blog note: the maid] is holding me now… she loves me.  Everybody loves me.  They can’t help it.

Oh, side note, AL has NO idea how to work a Diaper Genie.  We’ve had three changes today… and one of them a Hot Mess (as I mentioned earlier)… she “got nothin’.”  You might need to help a sista’ out.

AL told me that the highlight of her day was when I smiled at her like 6 times in a row on nap attempt number 2.  I mean, I sure know how to trick a girl into thinking she’s doing a good job.  Just smile it up, let her leave me for a few minutes and then burst into tears.  It says “It’s not me, it’s you.  And you may not be the B-Dub anymore, but at least I’ll give you a little something to keep you wanting more.”

Wait.  MOM!  I think YOU might be the B-Dub!  AL finally listened to what you told her about “running water as a last resort”… she swung me around (facing out, obvs) next to the kitchen sink and I was out like a freaking light.  I mean… done, dundies, dundaleezza rice.  You are so smart.  Nobody knows me better than you!

To recap the day:

- 2.25 bottles

- 1 wasted bottle because I was having NOTHING to do with that until I had…

- 1 catnap

- 2 diapers changed just because I was fussy and AL has no idea what she’s doing

- 1 diaper changed because I pooped all over creation

- 23 seconds of a Jay Z song before AL realized that she could NEVER be the BW if she let me listen to that

- 1 nap going on currently

- 6 awesome smiles

- 15+ random pics… it is hard work trying to get good pics of me when I literally NEVER stop moving

- 5 Chris Rice CDs back to back and now on repeat

- 1 clean house

- 1 happy baby and

- 1 “I love you!” for my momma


Unknown said...

Maybe you could try "Baby Got Back" tomorrow. I don't know, it's just a suggestion. It worked for Ross and Rachel. XOXO

katie newton said...

so glad you're back!!! YAY!!! :):):)

The Bradens said...

You are the bomb. Come raise my kids for me! Come see me soon!