Cellular Telephone.

I think today marks the most prominent time in my life where the phrase "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone" has a tangible meaning.  I lost my phone last night.  Going through phones is something that my sister does on a regular basis... she leaves them in cabs, drops them in toilets, throws them off balconies in the mall (oh wait, that's just her longest-lasting controlled urge).  I, on the otherhand, have NEVER lost a phone.  And it's killing me.

Want to talk to friends about a meeting you just had?
Find wireless internet or track them down in person (worst idea ever).  To find wireless internet, see next question.

Want to get wireless internet?  
Drive all the way home.  Or if you want food with this wireless internet, drive to restaurants and walk in to ask if they have wireless and walk out when they don't.  

Want to talk to mother in Cabo who doesn't have internet?
Send email to your sister and have her relay the message.  But do this after finding your restaurant with wireless internet.  Thanks, Cuatro's!

Want to try and FIND your phone?
You can't.  But your husband can.  And he will be even MORE annoyed than when you actually lost your phone because he doesn't have time to find your stupid phone.  It's your own fault it's gone in the first place!*  But you have no choice.  Have husband call phone to hope someone will hear it (it's on silent.  figures.)  But don't tell husband this via conversation, send email.  While you're at it, ask him to call the cab company and the restaurant.

Want to meet the girl who has your phone (because she found it in her purse LAST NIGHT) and just accidentally called your husband from a sorority event.... in San Marcos?
Borrow much cooler cellular telephone from owner of restaurant (Thanks, Boca at Cuatro's and Apple for the iPhone!)  Call less cool phone.  Talk to said girl and get details above and tell her "No, I'm not going to drive to pick up phone right this minute at the sorority event... in San Marcos" because... see next sentence.  Girl is going to call "Husband" when girl gets in to Austin this afternoon to pick up friend's purse that was left at a bar last night.  Have husband send you email telling you where to meet girl.  Hope husband gets details right and girl shows up.  Oh... and that girl doesn't use all your batteries answering the phone in the meantime.  Because you know she didn't think to write down "Husband"'s number ahead of time just in the off chance that the battery dies.  Just like she didn't think to look at recent calls and see "HUSBAND" on the call log when she found your phone LAST NIGHT.

Want to make darn sure you're going to get phone back after all this mayhem?
Hurry!  Drive home to plug in laptop so it doesn't die before husband emails to tell you where to pick up phone!

*Husband said none of these things.  Husband helped cheerfully.


Liz said...

p.s. My ringtone is "Jump Around". How scared do you think phone girl was the first time it rang??

Liz said...

UPDATE: It's Monday morning and I STILL do not have my phone. And Texas State Sorority girl (Kendall) doesn't have it now either. It's now in her FRIEND'S purse. Un freaking believable. I'm so annoyed.