1.14.2010

Brutal Honesty.

Something that's been weighing on me the last two days is my emotional response to the disaster in Haiti.  To start, I know it's selfish to even worry about MY response to something that's such a huge disaster.  But if I am honest, I don't feel the sorrow and compassion I want and need to feel for this country thousands of miles away.  I know something's wrong with this lack of reaction.  I know it means that my heart is hard and that I'm so wrapped up in my world that I don't have empathy for people in the midst of their crisis.  This isn't the way I'm supposed to be.  It isn't how God designed me to be.

Saying that... I do have compassion for people I know in times of crisis.  I hurt for them and love them and want to help them and pray for them and bring them up out of their pain.  And it's not that I've never had true hurt for people in a time of disaster.  When the tsunami hit Indonesia, I felt that.  But I also have a friend who is a missionary there... and it was a personal connection.  I'm shaking my head at myself right now in disappointment.

Have you ever felt this way?  Like you aren't feeling for someone or group of people or situation in the manner you know you should?  Like you've got a chip missing?  I DO hope I'm the only one so I can just work on myself... but if I'm not, let me know how you prayed to get yourself out of this state.  I know it's a matter of asking.  And of focusing on something other than myself.

I did donate to Compassion International directly for their disaster relief in Haiti... here.

I think it's time to stop blogging and start praying!

4 comments:

Tiffany said...

The Loj, I cannot tell you how I felt the exact same way yesterday. I literally prayed for the people of Haiti, fo rthe loss, for help, for Mercy...

Then I prayed for myself. I straight up asked God to put a burden on my heart for these people because in my head I know the devestation, but I wanted my heart to feel the weight. He truly has. This morning, first thing, the news brought me to tears seeing people in the streets waiting for word from loved ones who were praising God, praying, singing praises, etc. At that moment He spoke to me and showed me that there are faces of this tragedy.

Thank you for your honesty. You aren't the only one. We are SO blessed. We are so very fortunate and I think we constantly live with blinders to the need and the hurt around us. I think God will show us what's beyond our nose if we ask to really see it.

Love you friend! See you tonight!

efguess said...

I have recognized over the past year that I struggle with sympathy and empathy in general. I was discussing with a friend about 6 weeks ago. Taylor on the other hand, has such a soft heart for those hurting. Wish I was wired more that way...

Schulz Sightings said...

Rich Sterns talks alot about "compassion fatigue" in his book, the hole in our gospel. I have a hard time to when I have no personal connection. Praying specifically for the people softens my heart. longer discussion...

Allyson said...

You aren't alone on this one. I have been saying the same thing to myself. Why am I not overwhelmed with grief? It's hard to find a connection. I think it's just easy in our world to forget and be selfish and wrapped up in our world. Hait is "so far away." We mean well!